Holding Hope: Protecting Your Mental Health During the Holidays When Facing Infertility
The holidays are often painted as a season filled with joy, celebration, and family-focused traditions. But if you’re walking through infertility, this time of year may feel confusing, heavy, and even painful. Festive gatherings can amplify feelings of grief, uncertainty, jealousy, or isolation, especially when surrounded by pregnancy announcements, children-centered events, or well-intended but intrusive questions from your Great Aunt Mildred.
If that’s you, please hear this: your feelings are valid, your story matters, and your heart deserves gentleness.
Here are four supportive strategies to help you protect your mental and emotional well-being this holiday season while continuing to hold hope for the future.
Allow Yourself to Enjoy Holiday Foods Without Guilt
Remember, you are a whole person, not a fertility science project. Yes, nutrition can support reproductive health, but a few holiday meals, dessert, cocoa, or cocktail will not make or break your journey, and the stress of letting it get to you is likely more detrimental in the long run!
Letting yourself enjoy traditional foods and social gatherings can actually support mental health, reduce stress hormones, and foster connection. In the bigger picture of fertility supporting behaviors, I will always put these things above restriction and isolation.
Consider these grounding reminders:
Food is not moral: “there are no “good” or “bad” foods!”
Pleasure is part of nourishment and connection.
Stress around food can be more harmful than the food itself.
Eat with awareness, choose foods you love, and give yourself permission to be part of celebration, not just an observer.
Set Boundaries Without Apology
You do not have to attend every gathering, sit through triggering conversations, or explain anything, to ANYONE, about your family-building journey.
Boundaries may sound like:
“We won’t be able to make it this year, but thank you for thinking of us.”
“I’d love to talk about something other than babies today.”
“We’re focusing on our health right now and prefer not to discuss timelines.”
You can also arrive late, leave early, drive separately, or have a pre-planned “exit script.”
Boundaries are not walls. They are a necessary part of protecting your emotional and mental health.
Lean on People Who Truly Feel Safe
You don’t need many people, you just need the right people. This might include a partner, therapist, dietitian, close friend, sibling, or online infertility community.
Consider sharing ahead of time what support feels like to you:
Listening without fixing
Checking in privately
Avoiding unsolicited advice, comparisons, or toxic positivity
It is okay to take space from those who consistently minimize or dismiss your experience, even if they are family.
Give Yourself Space to Consider a Pause
The pressure to “keep trying” can feel relentless. If you notice burnout, resentment toward your body, low libido, or emotional numbness, it may be helpful to explore whether a brief pause could offer relief and clarity.
A break might include:
Skipping tracking apps
Avoiding timed intercourse and enjoy intimacy for FUN
Pressing pause on treatments or supplements
Reconnecting with hobbies, identity, friends, and rest
Rest is not failure. It can be a powerful and strategic part of healing.
Final Takeaways
Your holiday season does not need to look like anyone else’s.
You can opt in, opt out, rewrite traditions, or create entirely new ones.
You can hold both grief and gratitude.
You can take up emotional space.
You can prioritize yourself without guilt.
Most importantly, you are not alone, and your story is still unfolding.
If you would like help navigating nutrition, body image, hormones, or emotional support around food on your fertility journey, I’m here and would be honored to walk alongside you.
Cameron Sisler, MS, RD, LDN is a registered dietitian who has spent six years working in higher levels of care, helping clients navigate the complex journey of eating disorder recovery. She is also St. Louis’s leading expert on fertility nutrition, and has used science-backed nutrition and lifestyle guidance to help many people achieve their dream of conceiving. Cameron loves cooking and developing new recipes, and uses her skills in the kitchen to help clients find nutritional solutions that fit their taste preference and lifestyle.